Learning disabilities are frustrating, there's no way around it. They're frustrating for the parents who want to see their child succeed. And they're even more frustrating for the child, who may internalize a message that they're "just not smart enough."
It's no wonder, then, that many parents report how difficult it can be to get their child to even look at homework, much less complete it. Some sulk, others have tantrums, and others procrastinate with a thousand excuses. Do you recognize some of these symptoms?
All of these children are facing a painful reality: Success in school is going to require more work from them than their friends.
As a parent, you also have to work hard to assist and advocate for your child. But at the end of day, no matter how hard you work, you cannot replace the work that is now required of your child. And if your child internalizes the message that it's all useless, and he/she can't succeed anyway, all your effort to help will be futile. No child will work towards what they believe they'll ultimately fail at.
So, how do you get beyond the paralyzing frustration that is preventing your child's learning?
High scores do not equal success
We're frequently told a lie in society -- that those who score the highest, go the farthest. But the reality is if that were true, people like Einstein wouldn't exist in the history books.
The fact is, many (if not all) of the “great names” in history had to experience tremendous setbacks. What defined them and brings them now to our minds, however, is not the setbacks -- it's the hard work that eventually brought them to success.
That hard work requires perseverance. It means seeing a problem, raising an eyebrow, and figuring out what to do next. It means the thought that this might truly end what you're working toward either doesn't cross your mind, or you simply refuse to entertain it.
Let's compare two students, both slow to read.
- A child who is slow to read, and simply told that he/she needs to read faster to be successful, might think: "Everyone else has learned to read. My parents try to help me, but as soon as they teach me, I forget again. Nothing makes sense. Nobody can teach me. I'm to stupid to ever learn to read."
- The persistent child witht he same problem, however, might think: "Everyone else has learned to read. This is really difficult. My parents try to help me, but it's not working. I don't know what to do next, but I need more help."
The first child, without a mindset shift, is set up for failure. The second, if given the assistance he/she needs, is set up for success.
Psychologist Angela Duckworth writes:
"First, some people are, in general, more persistent and passionate about long-term goals. Compared to their less gritty peers, these individuals are more resilient in the face of adversity, bouncing back after failure and disappointment and otherwise staying the course even when progress is not obvious. Second, grit predicts success. Grit is not the only determinant of success – opportunity and talent matter, too. But on average, grittier individuals are more successful than others, particularly in very challenging situations."
In fact, Duckworth's research found that, while IQ can predict scores on standardized tests, “grit” is a better indicator of GPA, graduation, and college success.
The wonderful thing is that learning differences, such as dyslexia and dyscalculia, also come with gifts -- they are often able to look at the world in wonderful and unusual ways, leading to innovation skills or other special abilities. But their best gift is the necessary inner grit needed to persevere.
That, ultimately, is the key to success: knowing that, despite your difficulties now, if you keep trying, you will eventually succeed.
Perseverance, grit, the desire to keep going, on whatever you want to call it, is built up by small successes. Each small success gives a person more Drive to keep going. Slowly building up to bigger and bigger successes.
The learning success system is designed to create small successes. You will then build small successes into larger successes. If you're interested in doing this for your child, get the learning success system now.