It’s True, Mother’s of Struggling Learners are More Stressed out!

Before you know there was a problem did you have a feeling? Or maybe you are having that feeling now?

Did you notice little things in your child? Things like:

• Difficulty learning to tie their shoes? 
• Mispronounced words or a smaller vocabulary?
• Calling things by the wrong names?

Or the most common... Difficulty following directions?

When these signs set in mothers get stressed. They worry about school performance. They worry about the future. They might feel as if their dreams are being crushed.

Self-care techniques like meditation and yoga are great. And recommended. But you know your stress is not going away until you get this solved. And by the end of this article, you'll know how to solve it.

Stress Is High!

The more difficulty your child is having the higher your stress will be. Studies show this. So realize you are not alone. And many parents have successfully navigated this problem.

You might feel pretty close to the edge of insanity. But that's just you being a good parent. You are going to be fine. And so is your child. 

Studies have found that most mothers of struggling students have high anxiety. 

• 95% have anxiety around their child’s school performance.
• 90% have anxiety about their child’s future.
• 51% have anxiety around their child’s behavior.

That’s a lot of anxiety!

That level of anxiety is bad for your relationship with your child. It's also bad for your child’s performance. It's normal. But it's important to deal with it right away. Because it can cause things to get worse.

Your child is suffering as well.  Learning disabilities in children are correlated with certain emotional issues (Study). 

This is a bad mix.  A stressed mom, an emotional child. That can make for an unhealthy relationship. Which is exactly what studies show happens.

More Divorce

More bad news? Several studies show higher divorce rates among parents of children who struggle. One study showed a nearly double rate of divorce among parents of children with ADHD.

Mothers Carry The Burden

Most studies seem to point to the fact that mothers carry this burden more than fathers. (Men may worry more about the financial aspect)

So, what to do?

1) The first thing is to realize that you are a good parent. Worrying is a sign of that. That anxiety, although not helpful, is a sure sign of how much you care.

2) Realize that a learning difference is just that. A different way of learning. And Different Thinkers change the world. "Different Thinkers" created companies like Google, Apple, Microsoft, Virgin Airlines, and IKEA.

3)  Start by building confidence in your child. When you see confidence build in your child it will build in you too. With the right training, you can learn how to restore confidence in your child. Confidence is the key to surmounting any obstacle. Including this one.  

4)  Start building up your child's cognitive micro-skills. This will fill in the gaps. Once you do this your child will perform better academically.   

5) Taking a hands-on approach gets your child on the path to success, but there are other advantages as well

A) You can see the progress and guide it. Progress comes in tiny steps (Kaizen). Being there to recognize them is the key to keeping those successes going. That's why parents are better at this than educators.

B) Being hands-on allows you to be the channel through which your child’s success happens. Forming a tighter relationship. Easing anxiety for both you and your child.

C) The best anxiety killer is to “do something”. Waiting on the school or professionals is anxiety-producing. Taking matters into your own hands is anxiety-reducing.

Being in control of your child’s learning development is one of the best things you can do as a parent. Only a parent, guided with the right tools, knows best. An engaged parent sees the little things and this is what is important. You will then know exactly what to work on. 

It’s this involvement, at a granular level, that leads to success. 

Waiting for a teacher conference or a grade on a report card is too far between progress checks. For the fastest and most effective intervention, you must notice the small improvements. Notice them as they come. 

It’s not the size of successes that build confidence, it’s the number of successes. Science clearly shows this. So being there and noticing the tiniest successes builds confidence fast. Celebrate each little success. This will quickly restore confidence.

Proper Praise

And finally, learn to put the emphasis on effort rather than the outcome. Outcome can be dependent on external forces. Effort is always internal. 

Teaching your child to always try their best is what is important. Teach yourself to always praise in a way that puts focus on effort. If you do this, your child will develop grit. Grit gets us through the tough times. Surviving those tough times is what teaches us our strengths.

You will build your child up to be strong!